AMY & RACHEL
Friends
Page 1 of 4
AMY Kkkk. (Throar clearing sound) RACHAEL (no response, continues reading) AMY Kkkk uhhh RACHAEL (no response, looks up) AMY In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not talking to you. RACHAEL Kkkkkk… AMY You know, this is, this is classic Rachael RACHAEL Oh yeah, yeah right, remember in high school when I died and didn’t give you my baby. AMY This might be my one chance to have a child Rachael. I mean you know I have been so busy focusing on my career… RACHAEL What… What career? AMY Um I’m a decorator. RACHAEL You decorate dad’s office and now you’re a decorator? OK, I went to the zoo yesturday and now I’m a koala bear. AMY Why can’t you ever be supportive? RACHAEL Supportive… You wanna talk supportive? You didn’t even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby. AMY Oh, yeah, well, you didn’t come and see me in the hospital when I was having my lips done.
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AMY & RACHEL
Friends
Page 2 of 4
RACHAEL I did the first time. Uh, and you know what? You know whey I’m not giving Emily to you? I’m not giving you Emma, because there is no way you could handle the responsibility of a child. AMY Uh…Well how hard could it be, you do it. You wanna know why you don’t want me to have the bay Because you don’t want me to be happy. You have always been jealous of me. RACHAEL Jealous of what? Of your lack of responsibility? Your immaturity, your total disregard for other people’s feelings? AMY Huhuh, (laughing) To name a few. RACHAEL Uh! AMY You know, you just, you’ve always been like this. You just, you had to have everything and I couldn’t have anything. Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me? RACHAEL Timmy was my boyfriend and you made out with him. AMY Oh, come on, that was 20 years ago, get over it. RACHAEL Oh, I cannot believe it, I cannot believe that I invited you here today. AMY Yeah, well you know what I cannot believe? That my so called sister gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren, and I still have to pay retail! RACHAEL Oh Huh ha ha it’s 45. AMY You bitch. You just think you’re so perfect, with you new baby, and your, your small apartment. Well, let me tell you something, ..your baby isn’t even that cute. RACHAEL YuhAAAa… You take that back.
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AMY & RACHEL
Friends
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AMY No. RACHAEL Take it back. AMY No. What are you gonna do, make me? RACHAEL Hey, man, I work out. AMY So do I. RACHAEL I do pilates. AMY I do yoga. RACHAEL Bring it on. (Amy pushes Rachael) Did you just push me? AMY Uh, yeah, I think I did. RACHAEL Allright, that’s it! (She pushes her back) They begin to fight like girls. Shoulder push. Hand smacking hand used as punching. “Crazy, crazy, crazy”. They step back-part from each other. Amy spits in her palm. More hand smacking. “Ooo, Gross.” Amy comes at Rachael. Rachael intercepts her at her head- R hand on Amy’s head. Amy swings/swatting R,L,R,L as Rachael keeps her just far enough away. Amy, slaps Rachel Look at each other.
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AMY & RACHEL
Friends
Page 4 of 4
AMY Sorry, I’m so sorry. RACHEL I’m sorry. BOTH Sorry. RACHAEL Look, Amy, I got a little uh, out of control over there. Um, and I’m sorry. You’re my sister, and uh, if it really means that much to you… AMY So, your gonna give me the baby? RACHAEL No, I was gonna let you use my Ralph Lauren discount. AMY You are not gonna regret this. (crying) They hug.
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