Experiences during adolescence in a sample of individuals with aMracCon to children Distress surrounding awareness of a2rac3on
Background
• Adult sexual aMracCon to prepubescent children is an emoConally charged topic that is oOen discussed only in the context of child sexual abuse. • Research suggests that there may be a large number of individuals who are aMracted to children but have never acted on these aMracCons. (Seto, 2008; Seto, 2009) • Very few studies have been conducted within this populaCon, and most of the research on aMracCon to children comes from forensic populaCons of sexual offenders against children. (Seto, 2008; Seto, 2009) • As a result of the lack of research using non-‐forensic samples, individuals who are aMracted to children but have never offended against a child tend to be an invisible populaCon. • The purpose of the Help Wanted Project is to begin to shed light on this invisible populaCon by analyzing qualitaCve descripCons of the experiences of a sample of individuals with aMracCon to children, and the ulCmate goal of the research is to develop mental health care that ethically and effecCvely addresses their needs. • The current analysis focuses specifically on how parCcipants’ aMracCon to children may have influenced mental health and social outcomes during their adolescence.
ParCcipants reported becoming aware of their aMracCons between the ages of 10 and 17, with the most commonly reported ages being 12 and 13. Awareness of the aMracCon oOen occurred gradually, and, for many parCcipants, was accompanied by confusion, uncertainty, fear, hopelessness, feelings of isolaCon, or depression.
Implica@ons: These findings present an important opportunity for intervenCon during adolescence aimed at helping individuals understand their aMracCon and prevenCng potenCal adverse mental health outcomes.
Maggie Ingram Some3mes it was depression, because I felt like a monster. Some3mes it was just thinking you will grow up from that. Maybe it’s just a phase. It really changed from day to day, from 3me to 3me. Some emo3ons were posi3ve, some were nega3ve.
I knew that it separated me from others, and it just made things very unenjoyable… It was obvious that there was something different about me than from everybody else.
I thought that if I admit that I had the a2rac3ons then I was admiJng that I was like them and that I would become like them.
It's something I never would've ever wished for. All you see in public, media, anywhere is just that what a monster these people are. Growing up, that's what I associated that feeling with. It's awful. It's never something I would ever want to have. I wished it would go away many, many, many 3mes.
Methods
• The Help Wanted Project consisted of qualitaCve interviews of a sample of 30 parCcipants, aged 18-‐30. Of the 30 parCcipants, 27 reported being male, two reported being female, and one preferred not to choose a sex. • The age range of 18-‐30 was chosen in order to reduce recall bias since the quesCons referred to parCcipants’ adolescence. AddiConal criteria for parCcipaCon included being fluent in English and self-‐ idenCfying as being aMracted to children. • Using Grounded Theory, I performed a content analysis of the qualitaCve data of parCcipants’ experiences during adolescence. AOer collecCng notes on all 30 interviews, I analyzed them for recurrent themes and categorized these themes into codes that could be systemaCcally applied to each interview. I used codes such as “descripCons of adolescence,” “awareness of aMracCon,” “mental health issues,” “sense of isolaCon,” and “what might have helped.” Some excerpts were connected with mulCple codes, and some were later broken down into mulCple codes (i.e. “mental health” into “depression,” “anxiety,” and “suicidal ideaCon and behavior”).
Results
• Three main themes emerged from the data involving parCcipants’ experiences during adolescence: distress surrounding the awareness of aMracCon; mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideaCon and behavior; and a sense of isolaCon from others. • See graphic to the right for more details about each theme as well as excerpts from the interviews.
Mental health issues during adolescence about mental health issues Without directly being asked or diagnoses during adolescence, many parCcipants reported experiencing anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideaCon and aMempts during this period of their lives. In many cases, parCcipants aMributed these mental health issues to fear or hopelessness concerning their aMracCon to children and the public sCgma associated with the aMracCon.
Implica@ons: These findings suggest that potenCal strategies to prevent adverse mental health outcomes in adolescents with aMracCon to children might include making non-‐judgmental mental health care available to adolescents who might be struggling with this issue and providing the public, including adolescents themselves, with educaConal programs about aMracCon to children and its disCncCon from child sexual abuse.
There was the outside exterior for me that's looking great and doing well, but the interior me has always... I've always struggled with depression and just feeling down about things, even though on the outside they're going well.
I would just try and tell the thoughts to go away, but that wouldn't ever work, so then I would get really depressed… It just made me really depressed because I felt out of control because when you're siJng there and you've got thoughts running in your head and these impulses that keep coming up, but you don't want them to come up, but you can't stop the thoughts, screaming at thoughts telling them to stop isn't doing anything.
…Somebody who's at war and throws themselves on a grenade to save their peers, that's somebody we consider to be a hero. I honestly felt like I was basically that I was the grenade. I knew I had 3me. I knew I didn't want to hurt anybody yet… I begged and begged to have the a2rac3ons taken away, but they never were. That was always in the back of my mind that I was going to someday have to do what I need to do. Jump on the grenade.
When I was depressed, I just thought that I had no future for me, and I thought I'm going to end up like one of those people who get arrested, and I just don't think that I should be alive, and just, I'm a monster; a waste of space, I guess.
Discussion
• The qualitaCve interviews of the Help Wanted Project provide important insights about the experiences during adolescence of a group of individuals who are aMracted to children. • The results of this analysis suggest that adolescents with aMracCon to children may be at risk for serious mental health and social consequences related to the sCgma associated with pedophilia, providing valuable opportuniCes for prevenCon and intervenCon. • Because parCcipants were not asked about these topics explicitly, I believe that themaCc saturaCon has not been reached. Future studies should invesCgate whether surveying parCcipants about social isolaCon and mental health issues during adolescence leads to an even greater number of parCcipants reporCng these experiences. • Based on the outcomes of this exploratory analysis, it appears that understanding the impact of sCgma could empower us to prevent some of the adverse outcomes potenCally associated with aMracCon to children. Future studies should seek to elucidate the nature of the relaConship between aMracCon to children, perceived/experienced sCgma, and adverse mental health and social outcomes. • Through conCnued research efforts, we can begin to bring this invisible populaCon of individuals with aMracCon to children into public awareness and develop strategies to provide them with the support they need in order to understand and navigate their aMracCon in a healthy way.
Sense of isola3on during adolescence One of the most common themes that emerged from the data was a sense of isolaCon experienced by parCcipants during their adolescence due to the sCgma associated with aMracCon to children. ParCcipants reported feeling like outcasts, isolaCng themselves out of fear of discovery, and having no one to talk to or turn to for help.
Implica@ons: These results suggest that social support, which is consistently found in the literature to be a protecCve factor against a variety of adverse health and behavioral outcomes, may be compromised in this populaCon of adolescents who are aMracted to children. Therefore, efforts should be made to bolster social support and connectedness in adolescents with aMracCon to children.
I pre2y much felt like nobody at all could understand me and that if they knew the truth about me that they would hate me anyway. I just pulled back from everybody and saved them the trouble basically.
I didn't allow anyone to get close to me. I always kept them a li2le bit far back because I didn't want them to take a look inside and see that I was a pedophile. This made me, throughout my adolescence and my adulthood, to be a person who is always one step behind everyone else in terms of being close or being in3mate to anyone.
When you’re 15, I think having your friends actually means more than your family… When I figured it out that I wasn't like them, I felt excluded from their group and I felt alone… I pre2y much realized that… I'm going to be separated from everyone else. I'm going to be alone in certain ways for all my life…
There's nobody to talk to about that for a teenager. You can't tell your parents. You can't tell your teacher, your community, you can't go... I guess you can go to a priest in a confession and talk about it but I don't think people really do that anymore. There's just nobody out there. There's no support.
References 1. Seto, M. (2008). Pedophilia and sexual offending against children: Theory, assessment, and intervenCon. Washington, DC: American Psychological AssociaCon. 2. Seto, M. (2009). Pedophilia. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 5, 391–407.
The Help Wanted Project is supported by the Moore Center for the PrevenCon of Child Sexual Abuse and the AssociaCon for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers.
We would like to thank the following colleagues for their conCnued hard work on this project: Amanda Ruzicka, Aniss Benelmouffok, Cierra Buckman, Elizabeth Letourneau, Geoffrey Kahn, Ryan Shields, John Thorne, Sarah Murray, and members of the ATSA CollaboraCve Project.
