The Roles of Mindfulness
Cultivating an Inner Holding Environment
Implicit
• Practicing Therapist • Mindfulness Informed Psychotherapy • Mindfulness Based Psychotherapy
Vallecitos Mountain Retreat Center Explicit
How It Works
Fly
Overwhelmed?
Intensity of experience
Capacity to bear experience
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The Thinking Disease
How Does Mindfulness Help? • Reinforces experiential approach
• Review past pleasure and pain • Try to maximize future pleasure and avoid future pain
• Helps free us from believing in our thoughts • Reduces narcissistic orientation • Connects us to the world beyond our personal pleasure and pain
Decisions, Decisions 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.
Core Practice Skills 1. Concentration (focused attention) 2. Mindfulness per se (open monitoring) 3. Acceptance and Compassion
Which skills to emphasize? Formal or informal practice? Which objects of attention? Religious or secular practices? Narrative or experiencing mode? Relative or absolute truth? Turning toward safety or sharp points?
Focused Attention vs. Open Monitoring • Concentration (FA) Choose an object and follow it closely
• Mindfulness (OM) Attend to whatever object rises to forefront of consciousness
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Not Knowing
Beginner’s Mind
Acceptance
Loving-kindness Practice • “Metta” practices May I be happy, peaceful, free from suffering May my loved ones be happy. . . May all beings be happy. . .
Motivational Systems Drive, excitement, vitality
.
Objects of Attention
Contentment, safety, connection
Affiliative Soothing/safety
Seeking pleasure Achieving and Activating
Course
• • • • • • •
Well-being
Threat-focused Protection & Safety Seeking Activating/Inhibiting
Anger, anxiety, disgust
Feet touching ground Sights and sounds of nature Taste of food Sound of bell Breath in belly Mantra Air at tip of nose
Subtle
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Turning toward Safety I
Timing is Everything
• Outer or distal focus
Turning toward Safety II • Inner focus
Mountain Meditation Guided Imagery Metta Practice DBT techniques
Different Strokes • Need for frequent adjustment of exercises • Elicit feedback about the experience Both during and after practice
• Titrate between Safety and Sharp Points
Walking Meditation Listening Meditation Nature Meditation Eating Meditation Open eye practices
Turning Toward the Sharp Points • Moving toward anything unwanted or avoided • How is it experienced in the body? Pain, fear, sadness, anger Unwanted images or memories Urges toward compulsive behaviors
When Mindfulness of Inner Experience Can Be Harmful • When overwhelmed by traumatic memories • When terrified of disintegration, loss of sense of self • When suffering from psychosis
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Relative Truth
Life Preservers
• Human story • Concentration Practices Stepping out of the thought stream
• Eyes open, external sensory focus Ground, trees, sky, wind, sounds
Absolute Truth
Success & Failure Pleasure & Pain Longing Hurt Anger Envy Joy Pride
Processing Trauma 1. Open to painful emotions
• Anicca (impermanence) • Dukkha (unsatisfactoriness) • Anatta (no enduring, separate self)
2. Explore the facts of trauma 3. See it through lens of dependent origination 4. Develop compassion
The Problem With Selfing
Anatta
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Therapeutic Benefits of Glimpsing Anatta • Increased affect tolerance • Radical acceptance of parts
3) Freedom from Self-Esteem Concerns
• Freedom from self-esteem concerns • Deeper connection to others
What Defines Me? • • • • • • •
Physical beauty Athletic talent Financial status Artistic creativity Academic degree Designer outfit Alma matter
The Failure of Success
Lake Wobegon Where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.
Wrong Wall?
• The pain of I, me, me, mine • Narcissistic recalibration • Impossibility of winning consistently
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It’s Getting Worse
Narcissistic Personality Inventory • I just want to be reasonably happy • I want to amount to something in the eyes of the world • If I ruled the world it would be a better place • The thought of ruling the world scares the hell out of me • I am much like everybody else • I am an extraordinary person • I always know what I’m doing • Sometimes I’m not sure of what I’m doing
Egos Inflating Over Time: A Cross‐Temporal Meta‐Analysis of the Narcissistic Personality Inventory
He’s just an ordinary kid. -- Barry Magid (Ordinary Mind)
Journal of Personality, Volume 76, Issue 4
Self-Esteem Autobiography I get my money from Mommy.
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Connecting to Others
Life in a Space Suit Love
Self-Esteem
• Defenses against pain insulate us from one another • We imagine they keep us safe, but they leave us more vulnerable
Judgments “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” It’s not just a commandment, but a law of nature.
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It’s About Other People Make a connection, not an impression.
Service
Embracing Insignificance
Poor Prognosis
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King of England, 1387
Wat Tham Sua
Tiger Cave Temple Krabi, Thailand
Therapeutic Progress Not about me
Not about me
”mine” about me
Why Are You Unhappy? Because 99.9% of everything you think, and everything you do, is for yourself. And there isn’t one.
”mine” about me about me
-- Wei Wu Wei
-- Adapted from Engler & Fulton
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